Ian Curtis I am alone in the great theater. The lights with multicolored flashing everyone. I'm cornered and although I am part the show and not participate in it. I decided after having faced the laughter, reproaches, taunts and jeers. I can not stand the scene or my colleagues complacent with forced laughter.
'd better act for me, please me showing my wild instincts and contradictory. I have tired of applause forced the eloquent positive and hypocritical. The melodrama of the world is fine for most, for those who need the lights on their faces and applause of others to feel alive, they are forced into the circle of life and this is going like a tailored suit . I stop spinning on it for a long time now. I tried and failed, I'm not made for this world and its complex moral and objective abstractions.
Occasionally a light flashes in my heart and seems to guide me, like a pointer, to the other artists. And let me go even if fleetingly. They do not realize but for a moment my futile spirit joined his current body. And it made me feel good, all the feelings that I keep in my soul displayed exacerbated and illuminated and better management. I've loved, hated, suffered, created and guided at the same time, this seems not to matter more than others to continue seeing me as just one more. No one will notice the difference between an actor in the world and one of spirit, of loneliness and otherness.
The tent opens and closes constantly but always the same show: they wanted to get along with others, which consistently violating human and innocent tender called by his ideals. And the audience applauded for not knowing anything else. The great dilemma of mankind is that actors do not know their role in life. Always follow and adopt the one that goes better with time, with which they can make you laugh or grieve the other. Always looking good, always.
has lost the drama involving the art, has blurred the innate sense to function freely. Now life has become too vulgar, too stereotyped and material. It has abandoned the spirit, magic involved follow momentary wild instincts.
But go ahead. Follow humanity, makeup do well, the costumes bright and trendy settle them perfectly. Leave us alone to those few spirits who wander through the night laughing sadly you.
If only I could stay with a sincere look of love, hate, anger, sadness or any true feeling I could leave in peace, but everything is played ... Continue humanity, that immortality is for the few.
I stay in my lonely magic theater, being my only audience, laughing and suffering to myself. If anyone want to enter this tent remember one thing: and if they will ever get to do would go crazy ... I already am.
Don Fer.
August 2008 The Carp ...
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